I’m the Vice President of the United States, you stupid little fuckers! These people should be begging me! That door should be half its height so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn, motherfucking knees!
Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday. But it’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your co-workers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. Plus, it’s always fun to see Tom faint.
…i guess u could say someone killed the life of the party………………
(dedicated to sansaspark)
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
Oh dear, we are in trouble.