I’m the Vice President of the United States, you stupid little fuckers! These people should be begging me! That door should be half its height so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn, motherfucking knees! 

super-who-locked-in:

antolovich:

thepandabaker:

adeyami:

Land of the free home of the rich

What really scares me is that they all have significantly cheaper health care AND education, which means Americans not only make they least, they pay the most.

…wait, what?

wow america you really need to get your shit together

Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday. But it’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your co-workers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. Plus, it’s always fun to see Tom faint.

creepyunclerichard:

mithrandy:

FORMER queen regent

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#AS IN NO LONGER QUEEN REGENT#HEY CERSEI HOW DOES IT FEEL NOT BEING QUEEN REGENT ANYMORE#SEEING AS YOU’RE NOT FORMER QUEEN REGENT#LIKE IN THE PAST YOU WERE QUEEN REGENT BUT NOW HERE IN THE PRESENT YOU’RE NOT#…FORMER QUEEN REGENT ANYMORE BYE

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Game of Thrones: The Purple Wedding

cryinodonoghue:

…i guess u could say someone killed the life of the party………………

(dedicated to sansaspark)

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narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

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karlimeaghan:

Oh dear, we are in trouble.

scottishwinter:

tokillthedragon:

queenbroslob:

Poor Hippocrates

Why hate the father of medicine?

OH MY I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING…

helladutchess:

shrekyourself:

they put a bee in a human hospital bed

"Sorry sir we have no more beds left."
"What about that one?"
"Oh that’s a Bee’s"

crocker-incorporated:

Finding a new friend

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Slowly developing a crush on them

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littners:

when you like someone more than they like you

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